We are officially in the waiting stage of our adoption process. What makes this "waiting" stage different from our other two is that we already know who our sweet girl is, and we're more anxious to go to China to bring her home. We submitted our paperwork to China two days before Christmas and got our Log In Date (LID) the first week of January. This is well within our goal date to get the paperwork done, but now we wait for our documents to be translated and reviewed. Once that is done (and that could take 2-3 months) we will receive a Referral Approval. That paves the way for the Travel Approval which is the very last hurdle we need to jump before we get to plan our flights, etc. I'm always combing through the information people from my adoption groups offer as to timelines. As Dave could tell you I am ALWAYS trying to apply average numbers to our wait and trying to make predictions. Based on one woman's wait between LogIn and Referral was 71 days. I calculated that as putting us at March 17th - St. Patrick's Day. If we cannot find out BEFORE that date that our referral is officially approved, I will TAKE it on St. Patrick's Day. Let's hope the luck of the Irish is with us!
While we wait, we have totally transformed the girls' room - aka "The Bunkhouse". Wait, did I write about this already? Ah, I'm not going to check.....if I repeat myself, please excuse me! With a fresh coat of paint on one wall, new carpeting and a set of bunkbeds, the room for two has been converted into a room for three! Yikes! Sometimes I look at Dave and ask him if we are truly as crazy as we appear......he says "yes" but that its "okay". There is a lot of love in this home and though we needed to make some major space adjustments (and are still doing that) its worth every moment.
Conversations with friends and family lately have brought me lots of confirmation that this adoption we are about to embark upon is the exact right thing - that God has truly led us here. That doesn't mean that I'm not terrified. Lots of worries circling around in my brain. I am trying to quiet the worries and let go of them - trying to hand them over to God. My biggest prayers are that God prepares our sweet girl in that he eases her fears, that he guides the people who prepare her for the change. I am trying my hardest to NOT have expectations for our big girl. I want to be able to accept this child into my heart as she is, with all the years of experience apart from our family. I want to be OPEN to who she is, and how she is and learn all about her when she becomes my daughter. I know that this is always a hard thing to do. When we adopted Songbird I realized AFTER the fact that I had expectations. I assumed at almost 2 years old that she would be eating a variety of food, that she would be feeding herself. When we discovered how far behind she was, in particular in the eating department, I realized that I had certain assumptions about who she was. So I am going to pray for our big girl and pray for us, that we are open to her so that we can learn what is the best way to guide her through her grief/loss and any other delays she may have. I am NOT assuming that she knows ANY English. If she knows the word "Hello" I will be surprised. There will be a lot of learning about being in a family, learning a new language, meeting new people, eating new food - every experience will be new for her and we are looking forward to taking on the challenges that God brings us - we just ask him for the strength to meet each challenge!
One of my obsessive thoughts of late has been about traveling with two little ones and adding one big girl. We've been very lucky to have had traveling partners for each adoption: My sister traveled with us for the first, of two, weeks for Ballerina's adoption and my father-in-law and a friend joined us for Songbird's adoption. We've, not so casually, dropped the subject of China travel into several conversations with family members and friends to see if anyone is interested. The people who seemed the most interested were teachers who would only consider it if we traveled after school ended - of course we hope it will be much earlier! We have a potential traveling partner with one of my cousins - I'm so excited about the possibility! I shared my enthusiastic hope that she could come with my sister. A day or two after I talked to her about it, she burst out that she couldn't wait to tell me, but that she and her husband talked it over and decided that she would accompany us for one of the two weeks that we're in China this time. She told me this just as I was on my way to pick up Ballerina at the bus stop. I was so happy I was crying all the way down to pick up my girl. We had such a good time with Ballerina's "Fairy Godmother" the last time, and we know she's a good travel partner it will be great to have her along.
So, what else, I'm starting to buy our China girl some things. Not clothes yet, I'm waiting until we have sizes. I've bought some books, bracelets, brushes/hair stuff, a purse, stuff like that. I am planning to send her a photo album, possibly a back-back before we come to China. I know that I will want to have some clothes purchased for her before we go, but that most of the clothes will be purchased after we come home and we DEFINITELY know her size! I know I said no expectations and you may think that hair stuff/bracelets etc equal expectations but the latest photos we have of her she was wearing a dress and some bracelets. This was nice to see as the first photos showed her in very masculine boy clothes. There happen to be lots of boys at the orphanage, so the clothes are probably rotated for everyone. I have NO idea on how tall she is. My mom and I counted the bricks she was standing next to, to see if we could guess her height. Of course the bricks didn't look like standard U.S. bricks and they were standing upright -so we had no idea of measurement! We think Ballerina will be the tallest in the family so it will be interesting to see where our big girl will fall in the height department.
In the meantime Ballerina and Songbird are filling our days with their laughter and antics. Ballerina is immersed in the written word and delights in showing off her new skills as a reader. She is generous with her talents and reads to her sister often. In fact, tonight Songbird was crying because she didn't want to go to bed. After a few minutes of tears....the crying stopped and I heard the steady sound of Ballerina reading to her baby sister. She climbed down off the top bunk and read to her until she was calm. I LOVE these girls! Ballerina is also very interested in biblical stories. Her favorite book lately is a picture bible. She asks us to read from it often and chose it as a featured book for a book report at school. I'm not sure that her public school has many children offering a Picture Bible as recommended reading, but I don't mind!
Songbird is enjoying school too and we just had a meeting to decide on her placement for next year. She will continue with her therapies in the same program and we are glad to know that she is all set. We still have to create some new goals closer to the end of the current school year, but I'm glad that we know where she'll be next year. Her teachers have been amazing and she is continuing to blossom in the school environment.
So here we are, our family of four on the verge of becoming five.
I'll check in again sometime!
Later Alligators!
