Well we had a tremendous week, three weeks ago, of finding out more about our JuneBug in China. As I said we settled on JuneBug's name....well first name anyway. We settled on her first name and are definitely keeping her Chinese name as part of her name too. However, both Ballerina and Songbird have two middle names, one American and one Chinese. I'd like JuneBug to feel happy with the name choices and not regret having two middle names like her sisters. I also wonder if two middle names would be too much for a big girl who is already changing her name once. I would LOVE to add another middle name though - a short one that she could be proud of. Its all a guess, and we have to make the decision by the time we fill out her adoption paperwork (before we go.)
I talked to a pleasant woman in the U.K., Nicola, about our daughter. She visited the orphanage (SWI) last year as a part of her job with an International China Concern (ICC). She used the words "lovely" and "gentle" to describe JuneBug. She observed that she was shy and very caring towards the babies at the SWI. She obviously is used to being the helper with the younger ones. Nicola said that she observed her being a hardworker, and would sit down to work on a task and not get up until she had finished - schoolwork we're talking about here. She gave me a picture of the SWI and the people who work there. I got a more complete description of JuneBug's nanny, and its evident that she truly cares for the children as her own. Nicola described the SWI as one with a really good feel to it, children that are fed well, and a communal atmosphere where the children share their meals and are well behaved. I guess to most of us, this would seem to be kind of standard for this kind of institution. But this isn't always the case. I've heard about other SWIs. There was a photo of our daughter with Nicola and an old airplane the background. It caused all sorts of discussion in our family. I thought that it was a park and Dave argued that it might be on the grounds of the SWI. We had a good laugh about the possibility, but we honestly didn't know. Nicola confirmed that I was correct - its at a park....ha, Dave, you might be my only Blog follower - but so there! :-)
Nicola couldn't give me a better idea about WHAT they are studying in school, but noted that all of their materials seemed to be donated, including some books of questionable content - probably not appropriate for learning. The upside was that while her organization was visiting, they drew local media attention (as Westerners are somewhat of a curiosity in that part of China). Because of all the media, people who had previously not been aware of the SWI started to make donations. Nicola also told me that the SWI would be moving to a new building the week we spoke. If we get the opportunity to see the SWI, it will not be the one she grew up in all these years.
We got our report, and a follow up report, about our daughter at the end of that week. I admit, for the 6 days in between the two reports, I found myself up late at night worrying about some of the things I read in the first report. Specificially two facts combined - the first was that JuneBug is attached to her nanny, as is her nanny to her "like mother and daughter". She sometimes goes home with her nanny. Now, this is a good thing, but a hard thing. I know it is going to be hard for JuneBug to part from this woman who obviously loves her. On the other hand, she is loved, and has been able to form an attachment to someone - though she will grieve her loss, she is capable of attaching again. My prayer for JuneBug this whole year was that she was loved, that she knew love, and was being cared for lovingly. That prayer has clearly been answered. The second fact that caused my worry was that she didn't "grasp" what the adoption meant. I know that she will probably be socially delayed, not as mature as same age peers, and that few adoptions have happened from her SWI, but this fact combined with her attachment to her nanny made me sad. I kept imagining that the day we met her and brought her back to the hotel with us would be the absolute worst day in her life - especially if she didn't know what was to happen. I'm not focusing on making this day a fairy-tale meeting...I just want to offer her a peaceful welcome & first meeting and be there to help her go through her grief. I worry about her being scared, nervous and sad that day. So, worry worry worry - and try to let go of that worry, because I know its not DOING anything but keeping me awake when I desperately need sleep!
The follow up report came - it was a few questions that didn't get answered right away. It came in rough translation, with the mandarin still attached. I took one look at the first line and unplugged the laptop to run it inside the kitchen to show Dave. Poor guy was trying to work on schoolwork, but I needed to interrupt him to give him the first line: JuneBug "wants to be adopted!" Sometime in between the reports, her nanny started to talk to her about what adoption means - AND she got one, or both of our care packages. She was said to be interested in the "foreign-land" and "excited" - She's EXCITED! It also listed "nervous" and "timid", but I couldn't imagine her to not be. She went right away to play with the children as if she was saying goodbye, and showed interest in learning English. This is more than we could have asked for. Really, I know that we will have a long way to go with JuneBug. Emotionally, educationally, socially, language - she is sure to need a bunch of family time and lots of work on areas where she is behind, but this little bit of information shows me that she is "grasping" the change that is in front of her - this has also been a prayer of mine lately....so yes, prayers do get answered - in a big way when it comes to our family and adoption. My prayer now is for Dave and I, as parents, to have the tools we need to help JuneBug cope with all of these changes....and that God brings us to China soon!
That's all for now - except tomorrow some of our paperwork gets transferred internally in China and puts us on Travel Approval watch....and tomorrow is also our 2 year anniversary of meeting our sweet SongBird! So happy!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Big Week
So its been a while since I posted and though we are still "waiting," there are some new developments. This week in general is the culmination of a lot of those developments. Once we got our RA and we were officially accepted as JuneBug's parents we were also allowed to contact her. I organized a care package to be sent from a woman in China to our new daughter with a letter and some gifts. I also sent off our photo book with pictures of us and our home - I included a few pictures that Ballerina drew for her new big sister. We asked our care package woman to check in with the SWI to see what name our daughter chose from a list of four that we selected. This morning, after waiting with baited breath, I discovered that she liked them all fine, but left the final selection to us....I felt a little deflated. I was hoping that she would reach out to one name and claim it as her own. Instead, we know that we will have to work hard to make her feel a part of this family. The staff at the SWI offered their favorite and as the name they liked was one of our top two, and its easy to say, we agreed that it was the perfect name for our JuneBug. Of course if she is not ready to be called by her new American name we are happy to call her by her Chinese one. Right now its hard to start using the American name anyway. The girls are so used to referring to their big sister with her Chinese name. I've been trying to use both so that the transition is easier....they keep forgetting! Well, its only day one, we still need practice!
So that's development number one. Number two is that tomorrow I get to skype (is that a new verb?) with a woman in the U.K. who visited JuneBug's SWI last April with International China Concern. I received a bunch of new pictures from the SWI via our care package woman. The first picture I opened featured our daughter and, surprise, a caucasian girl...?! So I did some sleuthing when I found several more caucasian folk in the following pictures. The names on the photos helped me out as they listed the city, date and ICC. I did my research and determined that this ICC was a group that would have been on a missionary like trip to help out the kids in that SWI. Their main offices appear to be in Australia and the U.K. I joked with Dave that though our daughter might not know too many words in English she may know "G'Day!" The incredible part of this research was that I've identified two people in the photos and tomorrow I get to chat with one of them half a world away about her time in the place our daughter has lived for over a decade. Do people do the whole hair/makeup thing just to skype with a stranger? I'm so excited and nervous about what I might learn about JuneBug tomorrow. As she is nearing 12, there is so much we DON'T know about our daughter. I'm steeling myself for a rough transition already. I looked at some of the recent photos of our girl and my heart broke. She looks unhappy, she looks like she's not ready to change her life so much - fear of the unknown, and not understanding why everything is going to change. Her nanny has a smile in both photos where they are looking at the camera. This is the same nanny that was in an earlier video I saw of her. I think that she's been the one person in her life that's been a constant. If she helps the nannies with the younger children, to JuneBug, this is her life, her family as she knows it. This could be a very difficult transition. I'm not sure how it will manifest itself but I pray that God gives me and Dave the right tools to handle the tough times.
Okay, now for the third big thing that is supposed to happen this week. By weeks end I should have a bit of a "report" on JuneBug and her development in her years at the SWI. There is only so much information that you can get from a child's initial profile. There was a sentence, maybe two, for each year of her life. When constructing JuneBug's time at the SWI, that's not a lot of information. I contacted an organization that is phasing out the child reports, but agreed to take on the project. I sent a bunch of questions to the organization and they have someone in China who is doing the interviewing, research. I am, again, excited and nervous at what I will learn from this report. I know that I will not TRULY know my new daughter by reading reports and asking someone questions from a week visit a year ago, but this will go a long way in getting a picture of her life to date. I also know that the girl that we meet in (maybe) two months may not show us her true self right away. She will most likely be scared of these new people who are embracing her into a family with words she doesn't understand and bring her to a new country where all she has known is half a world away. She has much to learn - and we do too! I hope that she finds her little sisters to be a comfort to her. Ballerina and Songbird are so excited to welcome her home. Ballerina is a little guarded as she has been through this process before (getting a new sister) and she has the party line down pat. She tells Songbird, who enthuses that JuneBug will just hug and kiss her, that JuneBug may be upset and NOT hug right away because "she won't know us yet." Ballerina is such a good sister, she wants to be ready for that kind of moment (she also remembers that Songbird pushed her away for a little bit in the beginning.) She is enthusiastic about a big sister though, and often tells people proudly about JuneBug. She is knowledgeable about all things JuneBug and has helped pick out several of her new clothes. Ballerina actually chose many shirts for big sister that match shirts in Ballerina's closet!
So this is a big week of news for us. We pray for JuneBug throughout all of this time. She now knows she is going to be adopted. She has probably received our photo book and has a glimpse into where we live and what we look like. Of course, by now I wouldn't be surprised if she thought we were a bunch of smiling idiots. We are smiling in every photo. Only Songbird has some more serious photos - that's only because our family group shots often include Songbird looking away....that's okay, she's still beautiful!
I'm hugging my girls a little closer these days. They've brought so much joy into my life. These days with just two little girls will change a whole lot by the end of the summer. I know God is asking us to stretch and grow, and as these girls prove to me with their "high-water" pants and tight shoes - they are growing before my eyes. I am trying to slow them down to no avail! For now I will savor their beautiful little selves that are inquisitive, thoughtful, outgoing, joyful, musical and happy -and I look forward to seeing how they welcome their sister at their own & her own pace. They will be ready when she is!
So that's development number one. Number two is that tomorrow I get to skype (is that a new verb?) with a woman in the U.K. who visited JuneBug's SWI last April with International China Concern. I received a bunch of new pictures from the SWI via our care package woman. The first picture I opened featured our daughter and, surprise, a caucasian girl...?! So I did some sleuthing when I found several more caucasian folk in the following pictures. The names on the photos helped me out as they listed the city, date and ICC. I did my research and determined that this ICC was a group that would have been on a missionary like trip to help out the kids in that SWI. Their main offices appear to be in Australia and the U.K. I joked with Dave that though our daughter might not know too many words in English she may know "G'Day!" The incredible part of this research was that I've identified two people in the photos and tomorrow I get to chat with one of them half a world away about her time in the place our daughter has lived for over a decade. Do people do the whole hair/makeup thing just to skype with a stranger? I'm so excited and nervous about what I might learn about JuneBug tomorrow. As she is nearing 12, there is so much we DON'T know about our daughter. I'm steeling myself for a rough transition already. I looked at some of the recent photos of our girl and my heart broke. She looks unhappy, she looks like she's not ready to change her life so much - fear of the unknown, and not understanding why everything is going to change. Her nanny has a smile in both photos where they are looking at the camera. This is the same nanny that was in an earlier video I saw of her. I think that she's been the one person in her life that's been a constant. If she helps the nannies with the younger children, to JuneBug, this is her life, her family as she knows it. This could be a very difficult transition. I'm not sure how it will manifest itself but I pray that God gives me and Dave the right tools to handle the tough times.
Okay, now for the third big thing that is supposed to happen this week. By weeks end I should have a bit of a "report" on JuneBug and her development in her years at the SWI. There is only so much information that you can get from a child's initial profile. There was a sentence, maybe two, for each year of her life. When constructing JuneBug's time at the SWI, that's not a lot of information. I contacted an organization that is phasing out the child reports, but agreed to take on the project. I sent a bunch of questions to the organization and they have someone in China who is doing the interviewing, research. I am, again, excited and nervous at what I will learn from this report. I know that I will not TRULY know my new daughter by reading reports and asking someone questions from a week visit a year ago, but this will go a long way in getting a picture of her life to date. I also know that the girl that we meet in (maybe) two months may not show us her true self right away. She will most likely be scared of these new people who are embracing her into a family with words she doesn't understand and bring her to a new country where all she has known is half a world away. She has much to learn - and we do too! I hope that she finds her little sisters to be a comfort to her. Ballerina and Songbird are so excited to welcome her home. Ballerina is a little guarded as she has been through this process before (getting a new sister) and she has the party line down pat. She tells Songbird, who enthuses that JuneBug will just hug and kiss her, that JuneBug may be upset and NOT hug right away because "she won't know us yet." Ballerina is such a good sister, she wants to be ready for that kind of moment (she also remembers that Songbird pushed her away for a little bit in the beginning.) She is enthusiastic about a big sister though, and often tells people proudly about JuneBug. She is knowledgeable about all things JuneBug and has helped pick out several of her new clothes. Ballerina actually chose many shirts for big sister that match shirts in Ballerina's closet!
So this is a big week of news for us. We pray for JuneBug throughout all of this time. She now knows she is going to be adopted. She has probably received our photo book and has a glimpse into where we live and what we look like. Of course, by now I wouldn't be surprised if she thought we were a bunch of smiling idiots. We are smiling in every photo. Only Songbird has some more serious photos - that's only because our family group shots often include Songbird looking away....that's okay, she's still beautiful!
I'm hugging my girls a little closer these days. They've brought so much joy into my life. These days with just two little girls will change a whole lot by the end of the summer. I know God is asking us to stretch and grow, and as these girls prove to me with their "high-water" pants and tight shoes - they are growing before my eyes. I am trying to slow them down to no avail! For now I will savor their beautiful little selves that are inquisitive, thoughtful, outgoing, joyful, musical and happy -and I look forward to seeing how they welcome their sister at their own & her own pace. They will be ready when she is!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
RA!!!
It has ARRIVED! I'm not sure if I wrote this in my previous blog but the magical day I was counting on was St. Patrick's Day. I used someone else's timeline to calculate when we should expect our Referral Approval. Looking back, I actually miscounted 71 days, but either way, my magical day was March 17th. Being an Irish Gal who celebrates St. Patrick's Day, I thought this was a good day to get a referral. On Monday, March 15th we got the call. Whoo Hoo! I wasn't nervous about our paperwork at all, but if Wednesday had come and gone with no word, I would have started worrying. Our family coordinator told me that she would mail the paperwork to us the following day and it would arrive on -you guessed it - St. Patrick's Day! There is a quick turnaround on this kind of paperwork. You need to sign & return quickly so that the agency can return it to China quickly. We also have paperwork that we have to submit to USCIS so that our Consulate appointment may be scheduled and immigration paperwork can get underway.
What's great is that we can now reach out to her daughter- work out her new American name and send care packages to her. Now is the time she will be prepared, by her caregivers, and by our packages, to make the transition to living in an orphanage to being a daughter in a family. Up until now, the orphanage wasn't even notified of a potential family. I can't wait to get her size information and pick out some new outfits for her for at least the time we are in China. I would like to have her with me when we round out her wardrobe.
So, we have lots to do - paperwork, working out finances, getting together our travel stuff, sending packages, making countdowns for the girls, getting a "travel meeting" dinner for our little travel group set, organizing our away from home details. Much to do, much excitement and we'll get it all together. The week I will be a crazy woman will be the week before we leave. Specifically the day before we leave. Thankfully my honey has promised to start his time off the day before we go so that we can get ourselves in gear and he can help keep me on track. And you better believe the girls will be in school that day!
So, with that said, I'm signing off to do some prep work.
We're closer to bringing home our JuneBug....YAY!
What's great is that we can now reach out to her daughter- work out her new American name and send care packages to her. Now is the time she will be prepared, by her caregivers, and by our packages, to make the transition to living in an orphanage to being a daughter in a family. Up until now, the orphanage wasn't even notified of a potential family. I can't wait to get her size information and pick out some new outfits for her for at least the time we are in China. I would like to have her with me when we round out her wardrobe.
So, we have lots to do - paperwork, working out finances, getting together our travel stuff, sending packages, making countdowns for the girls, getting a "travel meeting" dinner for our little travel group set, organizing our away from home details. Much to do, much excitement and we'll get it all together. The week I will be a crazy woman will be the week before we leave. Specifically the day before we leave. Thankfully my honey has promised to start his time off the day before we go so that we can get ourselves in gear and he can help keep me on track. And you better believe the girls will be in school that day!
So, with that said, I'm signing off to do some prep work.
We're closer to bringing home our JuneBug....YAY!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Any day now.....
We're still waiting for the RA and it could come any day. My calculations, determined by someone else's timeline, put us at St. Patrick's Day for getting our next milestone out of the way. If we don't get a call before then, well, then I'll be getting ancy. Right now Dave is the one who's ancy, but I have a loose timeline (that admittedly belonged to someone who is not me) and I'm sticking with it. So on the last blog entry I referred to our new daughter as SummerGirl - I take it back, it still didn't fit - I will refer to her as JuneBug. There, done. The good news is that this is just all random rambling, mostly to myself - I think I have only one person reading this and he lives here!
News in this house includes girls who are growing and blossoming in front of our very eyes. Ballerina is so interested in her faith and has become quite the biblical scholar. She has had two favorite books over the last 3 months and they are picture bibles. She is amazing me with her reading skills and is now reading the stories herself. She plays church and today after she finished her homework went off to her room to do her "church homework". When I asked she said she was a "lector" and needed to practice. That's my girl! She sees her mommy reading at mass and she is bolstered by her own reading skills. I think it won't be long before she informs me that she wants to read at church. She is so proud of herself!
Songbird is learning so much and becoming so articulate. She amazes us with her observations and the way she puts things together. She is starting to become a little comedian too and laughs the loudest at her own sense of humor. She is working on potty training. Its a long time in coming, but she is finally seeing some results when she sits on the toilet! She loves the cheering that she gets from her parents and her big sister. I think Ballerina is almost more excited than she is when it happens! Tonight I told her that I was so proud of her progress and she said "yeah, I'm proud of ME!" She is such a love! She has a new girl in her class and she is LOVING it. Finally another little girlie! Our Songbird appreciates the "pretty" and can now spend some time with another girl who wears "cute" clothes. That is the actuall phrase she used when she was shopping with me today. We were in the children's clothing section and she said - "let's look for cute clothes".
I'm really so proud of how both of them are getting along. There, of course, are sibling quarrels from time to time but they are getting along so well. I know that I need to cherish it now, as attitudes change over time, but its so lovely to see. Ballerina is protective towards Songbird and she is so thoughtful and will patiently sit with her to read a story. She also has moments of "instruction" where she attempts to teach Songbird something that she feels she needs to know now. Ballerina recently learned how to tie her own shoes - and she is EXCTATIC about this accomplishment. She also tried to teach Songbird this morning how to tie her shoes. I had to explain to her that Songbird might not be ready yet, lets work on other skills first. Songbird looks up to Ballerina, and also does her fair share of little sister meddling with Ballerina's toys/books. She seeks out her sister's hand when we're walking. That in and of itself is big news. She used to shrink from holding onto Ballerina's hand and that made Ballerina sad. Our little Songbird is firmly in the little sister mode and will welcome JuneBug with little problems. Ballerina, aka the BOSS, will most likely have a tougher adjustment. She expects big sisters to be a particular way, and some of those expecatations might be shattered when we adopt her sister. I am working on lowering those expecatations so that she can connect with JuneBug with few demands. So far I think she's listening. Dave overheard Ballerina and Songbird talking about JuneBug. Songbird said "yeah, JuneBug is going to give me a hug when I see her". Ballerina said "now Songbird, you know she might not give you a hug right away, because she doesn't know us yet." I hope that JuneBug is comforted to know that she will have little sisters. They already fiercely love her and are ready to lavish their love on her. I hope she is in a place that she feels able to freely accept their love and friendship when we first meet. I think it will be easier for her to connect to the little people in the beginning, and pray that we can all find a family bond come, if not easily, with some ease.
Lastly, on news outside our immediate family, I have a new nephew! I now have three nieces and 2 nephews. All such beautiful children. We look forward to meeting my youngest brother's little man!
More blogging when we get more news.....
News in this house includes girls who are growing and blossoming in front of our very eyes. Ballerina is so interested in her faith and has become quite the biblical scholar. She has had two favorite books over the last 3 months and they are picture bibles. She is amazing me with her reading skills and is now reading the stories herself. She plays church and today after she finished her homework went off to her room to do her "church homework". When I asked she said she was a "lector" and needed to practice. That's my girl! She sees her mommy reading at mass and she is bolstered by her own reading skills. I think it won't be long before she informs me that she wants to read at church. She is so proud of herself!
Songbird is learning so much and becoming so articulate. She amazes us with her observations and the way she puts things together. She is starting to become a little comedian too and laughs the loudest at her own sense of humor. She is working on potty training. Its a long time in coming, but she is finally seeing some results when she sits on the toilet! She loves the cheering that she gets from her parents and her big sister. I think Ballerina is almost more excited than she is when it happens! Tonight I told her that I was so proud of her progress and she said "yeah, I'm proud of ME!" She is such a love! She has a new girl in her class and she is LOVING it. Finally another little girlie! Our Songbird appreciates the "pretty" and can now spend some time with another girl who wears "cute" clothes. That is the actuall phrase she used when she was shopping with me today. We were in the children's clothing section and she said - "let's look for cute clothes".
I'm really so proud of how both of them are getting along. There, of course, are sibling quarrels from time to time but they are getting along so well. I know that I need to cherish it now, as attitudes change over time, but its so lovely to see. Ballerina is protective towards Songbird and she is so thoughtful and will patiently sit with her to read a story. She also has moments of "instruction" where she attempts to teach Songbird something that she feels she needs to know now. Ballerina recently learned how to tie her own shoes - and she is EXCTATIC about this accomplishment. She also tried to teach Songbird this morning how to tie her shoes. I had to explain to her that Songbird might not be ready yet, lets work on other skills first. Songbird looks up to Ballerina, and also does her fair share of little sister meddling with Ballerina's toys/books. She seeks out her sister's hand when we're walking. That in and of itself is big news. She used to shrink from holding onto Ballerina's hand and that made Ballerina sad. Our little Songbird is firmly in the little sister mode and will welcome JuneBug with little problems. Ballerina, aka the BOSS, will most likely have a tougher adjustment. She expects big sisters to be a particular way, and some of those expecatations might be shattered when we adopt her sister. I am working on lowering those expecatations so that she can connect with JuneBug with few demands. So far I think she's listening. Dave overheard Ballerina and Songbird talking about JuneBug. Songbird said "yeah, JuneBug is going to give me a hug when I see her". Ballerina said "now Songbird, you know she might not give you a hug right away, because she doesn't know us yet." I hope that JuneBug is comforted to know that she will have little sisters. They already fiercely love her and are ready to lavish their love on her. I hope she is in a place that she feels able to freely accept their love and friendship when we first meet. I think it will be easier for her to connect to the little people in the beginning, and pray that we can all find a family bond come, if not easily, with some ease.
Lastly, on news outside our immediate family, I have a new nephew! I now have three nieces and 2 nephews. All such beautiful children. We look forward to meeting my youngest brother's little man!
More blogging when we get more news.....
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Have you heard anything yet.....?
The short answer is no, not yet. We've been getting that question the most, and the longer answer is - I hope that we get the next bit of info in mid-march. That is not the end of the wait though, as we still need to file some more documentation and obtain travel approval (TA). But what the Referral Approval (RA) does is OFFICIALLY recognize the match between our family and our newest daughter. We have to say "yes" again, and this makes the match solid. What will change, however, is that once we are officially recognized as the prospective parents for our waiting daughter, we can send her care packages! I'm assembling a photo album with pictures of our family and home so that we can introduce ourselves to our girlie. Okay, so now I'm wondering if I've established a blog name for our girl. Its so hard because we know so little about her personality. Ballerina and Songbird are going to be joined pseudonymly (is that a word?!) on this blog with their big-sister-to-be: SummerGirl. I seriously sat here for 20 minutes trying to figure out a name - I'm still not satisfied with it, but I can use it for a little bit. Oops, I took too long, Songbird is awake from nap....later!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Waiting.....Busy.....Waiting
We are officially in the waiting stage of our adoption process. What makes this "waiting" stage different from our other two is that we already know who our sweet girl is, and we're more anxious to go to China to bring her home. We submitted our paperwork to China two days before Christmas and got our Log In Date (LID) the first week of January. This is well within our goal date to get the paperwork done, but now we wait for our documents to be translated and reviewed. Once that is done (and that could take 2-3 months) we will receive a Referral Approval. That paves the way for the Travel Approval which is the very last hurdle we need to jump before we get to plan our flights, etc. I'm always combing through the information people from my adoption groups offer as to timelines. As Dave could tell you I am ALWAYS trying to apply average numbers to our wait and trying to make predictions. Based on one woman's wait between LogIn and Referral was 71 days. I calculated that as putting us at March 17th - St. Patrick's Day. If we cannot find out BEFORE that date that our referral is officially approved, I will TAKE it on St. Patrick's Day. Let's hope the luck of the Irish is with us!
While we wait, we have totally transformed the girls' room - aka "The Bunkhouse". Wait, did I write about this already? Ah, I'm not going to check.....if I repeat myself, please excuse me! With a fresh coat of paint on one wall, new carpeting and a set of bunkbeds, the room for two has been converted into a room for three! Yikes! Sometimes I look at Dave and ask him if we are truly as crazy as we appear......he says "yes" but that its "okay". There is a lot of love in this home and though we needed to make some major space adjustments (and are still doing that) its worth every moment.
Conversations with friends and family lately have brought me lots of confirmation that this adoption we are about to embark upon is the exact right thing - that God has truly led us here. That doesn't mean that I'm not terrified. Lots of worries circling around in my brain. I am trying to quiet the worries and let go of them - trying to hand them over to God. My biggest prayers are that God prepares our sweet girl in that he eases her fears, that he guides the people who prepare her for the change. I am trying my hardest to NOT have expectations for our big girl. I want to be able to accept this child into my heart as she is, with all the years of experience apart from our family. I want to be OPEN to who she is, and how she is and learn all about her when she becomes my daughter. I know that this is always a hard thing to do. When we adopted Songbird I realized AFTER the fact that I had expectations. I assumed at almost 2 years old that she would be eating a variety of food, that she would be feeding herself. When we discovered how far behind she was, in particular in the eating department, I realized that I had certain assumptions about who she was. So I am going to pray for our big girl and pray for us, that we are open to her so that we can learn what is the best way to guide her through her grief/loss and any other delays she may have. I am NOT assuming that she knows ANY English. If she knows the word "Hello" I will be surprised. There will be a lot of learning about being in a family, learning a new language, meeting new people, eating new food - every experience will be new for her and we are looking forward to taking on the challenges that God brings us - we just ask him for the strength to meet each challenge!
One of my obsessive thoughts of late has been about traveling with two little ones and adding one big girl. We've been very lucky to have had traveling partners for each adoption: My sister traveled with us for the first, of two, weeks for Ballerina's adoption and my father-in-law and a friend joined us for Songbird's adoption. We've, not so casually, dropped the subject of China travel into several conversations with family members and friends to see if anyone is interested. The people who seemed the most interested were teachers who would only consider it if we traveled after school ended - of course we hope it will be much earlier! We have a potential traveling partner with one of my cousins - I'm so excited about the possibility! I shared my enthusiastic hope that she could come with my sister. A day or two after I talked to her about it, she burst out that she couldn't wait to tell me, but that she and her husband talked it over and decided that she would accompany us for one of the two weeks that we're in China this time. She told me this just as I was on my way to pick up Ballerina at the bus stop. I was so happy I was crying all the way down to pick up my girl. We had such a good time with Ballerina's "Fairy Godmother" the last time, and we know she's a good travel partner it will be great to have her along.
So, what else, I'm starting to buy our China girl some things. Not clothes yet, I'm waiting until we have sizes. I've bought some books, bracelets, brushes/hair stuff, a purse, stuff like that. I am planning to send her a photo album, possibly a back-back before we come to China. I know that I will want to have some clothes purchased for her before we go, but that most of the clothes will be purchased after we come home and we DEFINITELY know her size! I know I said no expectations and you may think that hair stuff/bracelets etc equal expectations but the latest photos we have of her she was wearing a dress and some bracelets. This was nice to see as the first photos showed her in very masculine boy clothes. There happen to be lots of boys at the orphanage, so the clothes are probably rotated for everyone. I have NO idea on how tall she is. My mom and I counted the bricks she was standing next to, to see if we could guess her height. Of course the bricks didn't look like standard U.S. bricks and they were standing upright -so we had no idea of measurement! We think Ballerina will be the tallest in the family so it will be interesting to see where our big girl will fall in the height department.
In the meantime Ballerina and Songbird are filling our days with their laughter and antics. Ballerina is immersed in the written word and delights in showing off her new skills as a reader. She is generous with her talents and reads to her sister often. In fact, tonight Songbird was crying because she didn't want to go to bed. After a few minutes of tears....the crying stopped and I heard the steady sound of Ballerina reading to her baby sister. She climbed down off the top bunk and read to her until she was calm. I LOVE these girls! Ballerina is also very interested in biblical stories. Her favorite book lately is a picture bible. She asks us to read from it often and chose it as a featured book for a book report at school. I'm not sure that her public school has many children offering a Picture Bible as recommended reading, but I don't mind!
Songbird is enjoying school too and we just had a meeting to decide on her placement for next year. She will continue with her therapies in the same program and we are glad to know that she is all set. We still have to create some new goals closer to the end of the current school year, but I'm glad that we know where she'll be next year. Her teachers have been amazing and she is continuing to blossom in the school environment.
So here we are, our family of four on the verge of becoming five.
I'll check in again sometime!
Later Alligators!
While we wait, we have totally transformed the girls' room - aka "The Bunkhouse". Wait, did I write about this already? Ah, I'm not going to check.....if I repeat myself, please excuse me! With a fresh coat of paint on one wall, new carpeting and a set of bunkbeds, the room for two has been converted into a room for three! Yikes! Sometimes I look at Dave and ask him if we are truly as crazy as we appear......he says "yes" but that its "okay". There is a lot of love in this home and though we needed to make some major space adjustments (and are still doing that) its worth every moment.
Conversations with friends and family lately have brought me lots of confirmation that this adoption we are about to embark upon is the exact right thing - that God has truly led us here. That doesn't mean that I'm not terrified. Lots of worries circling around in my brain. I am trying to quiet the worries and let go of them - trying to hand them over to God. My biggest prayers are that God prepares our sweet girl in that he eases her fears, that he guides the people who prepare her for the change. I am trying my hardest to NOT have expectations for our big girl. I want to be able to accept this child into my heart as she is, with all the years of experience apart from our family. I want to be OPEN to who she is, and how she is and learn all about her when she becomes my daughter. I know that this is always a hard thing to do. When we adopted Songbird I realized AFTER the fact that I had expectations. I assumed at almost 2 years old that she would be eating a variety of food, that she would be feeding herself. When we discovered how far behind she was, in particular in the eating department, I realized that I had certain assumptions about who she was. So I am going to pray for our big girl and pray for us, that we are open to her so that we can learn what is the best way to guide her through her grief/loss and any other delays she may have. I am NOT assuming that she knows ANY English. If she knows the word "Hello" I will be surprised. There will be a lot of learning about being in a family, learning a new language, meeting new people, eating new food - every experience will be new for her and we are looking forward to taking on the challenges that God brings us - we just ask him for the strength to meet each challenge!
One of my obsessive thoughts of late has been about traveling with two little ones and adding one big girl. We've been very lucky to have had traveling partners for each adoption: My sister traveled with us for the first, of two, weeks for Ballerina's adoption and my father-in-law and a friend joined us for Songbird's adoption. We've, not so casually, dropped the subject of China travel into several conversations with family members and friends to see if anyone is interested. The people who seemed the most interested were teachers who would only consider it if we traveled after school ended - of course we hope it will be much earlier! We have a potential traveling partner with one of my cousins - I'm so excited about the possibility! I shared my enthusiastic hope that she could come with my sister. A day or two after I talked to her about it, she burst out that she couldn't wait to tell me, but that she and her husband talked it over and decided that she would accompany us for one of the two weeks that we're in China this time. She told me this just as I was on my way to pick up Ballerina at the bus stop. I was so happy I was crying all the way down to pick up my girl. We had such a good time with Ballerina's "Fairy Godmother" the last time, and we know she's a good travel partner it will be great to have her along.
So, what else, I'm starting to buy our China girl some things. Not clothes yet, I'm waiting until we have sizes. I've bought some books, bracelets, brushes/hair stuff, a purse, stuff like that. I am planning to send her a photo album, possibly a back-back before we come to China. I know that I will want to have some clothes purchased for her before we go, but that most of the clothes will be purchased after we come home and we DEFINITELY know her size! I know I said no expectations and you may think that hair stuff/bracelets etc equal expectations but the latest photos we have of her she was wearing a dress and some bracelets. This was nice to see as the first photos showed her in very masculine boy clothes. There happen to be lots of boys at the orphanage, so the clothes are probably rotated for everyone. I have NO idea on how tall she is. My mom and I counted the bricks she was standing next to, to see if we could guess her height. Of course the bricks didn't look like standard U.S. bricks and they were standing upright -so we had no idea of measurement! We think Ballerina will be the tallest in the family so it will be interesting to see where our big girl will fall in the height department.
In the meantime Ballerina and Songbird are filling our days with their laughter and antics. Ballerina is immersed in the written word and delights in showing off her new skills as a reader. She is generous with her talents and reads to her sister often. In fact, tonight Songbird was crying because she didn't want to go to bed. After a few minutes of tears....the crying stopped and I heard the steady sound of Ballerina reading to her baby sister. She climbed down off the top bunk and read to her until she was calm. I LOVE these girls! Ballerina is also very interested in biblical stories. Her favorite book lately is a picture bible. She asks us to read from it often and chose it as a featured book for a book report at school. I'm not sure that her public school has many children offering a Picture Bible as recommended reading, but I don't mind!
Songbird is enjoying school too and we just had a meeting to decide on her placement for next year. She will continue with her therapies in the same program and we are glad to know that she is all set. We still have to create some new goals closer to the end of the current school year, but I'm glad that we know where she'll be next year. Her teachers have been amazing and she is continuing to blossom in the school environment.
So here we are, our family of four on the verge of becoming five.
I'll check in again sometime!
Later Alligators!
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