Well we had a tremendous week, three weeks ago, of finding out more about our JuneBug in China. As I said we settled on JuneBug's name....well first name anyway. We settled on her first name and are definitely keeping her Chinese name as part of her name too. However, both Ballerina and Songbird have two middle names, one American and one Chinese. I'd like JuneBug to feel happy with the name choices and not regret having two middle names like her sisters. I also wonder if two middle names would be too much for a big girl who is already changing her name once. I would LOVE to add another middle name though - a short one that she could be proud of. Its all a guess, and we have to make the decision by the time we fill out her adoption paperwork (before we go.)
I talked to a pleasant woman in the U.K., Nicola, about our daughter. She visited the orphanage (SWI) last year as a part of her job with an International China Concern (ICC). She used the words "lovely" and "gentle" to describe JuneBug. She observed that she was shy and very caring towards the babies at the SWI. She obviously is used to being the helper with the younger ones. Nicola said that she observed her being a hardworker, and would sit down to work on a task and not get up until she had finished - schoolwork we're talking about here. She gave me a picture of the SWI and the people who work there. I got a more complete description of JuneBug's nanny, and its evident that she truly cares for the children as her own. Nicola described the SWI as one with a really good feel to it, children that are fed well, and a communal atmosphere where the children share their meals and are well behaved. I guess to most of us, this would seem to be kind of standard for this kind of institution. But this isn't always the case. I've heard about other SWIs. There was a photo of our daughter with Nicola and an old airplane the background. It caused all sorts of discussion in our family. I thought that it was a park and Dave argued that it might be on the grounds of the SWI. We had a good laugh about the possibility, but we honestly didn't know. Nicola confirmed that I was correct - its at a park....ha, Dave, you might be my only Blog follower - but so there! :-)
Nicola couldn't give me a better idea about WHAT they are studying in school, but noted that all of their materials seemed to be donated, including some books of questionable content - probably not appropriate for learning. The upside was that while her organization was visiting, they drew local media attention (as Westerners are somewhat of a curiosity in that part of China). Because of all the media, people who had previously not been aware of the SWI started to make donations. Nicola also told me that the SWI would be moving to a new building the week we spoke. If we get the opportunity to see the SWI, it will not be the one she grew up in all these years.
We got our report, and a follow up report, about our daughter at the end of that week. I admit, for the 6 days in between the two reports, I found myself up late at night worrying about some of the things I read in the first report. Specificially two facts combined - the first was that JuneBug is attached to her nanny, as is her nanny to her "like mother and daughter". She sometimes goes home with her nanny. Now, this is a good thing, but a hard thing. I know it is going to be hard for JuneBug to part from this woman who obviously loves her. On the other hand, she is loved, and has been able to form an attachment to someone - though she will grieve her loss, she is capable of attaching again. My prayer for JuneBug this whole year was that she was loved, that she knew love, and was being cared for lovingly. That prayer has clearly been answered. The second fact that caused my worry was that she didn't "grasp" what the adoption meant. I know that she will probably be socially delayed, not as mature as same age peers, and that few adoptions have happened from her SWI, but this fact combined with her attachment to her nanny made me sad. I kept imagining that the day we met her and brought her back to the hotel with us would be the absolute worst day in her life - especially if she didn't know what was to happen. I'm not focusing on making this day a fairy-tale meeting...I just want to offer her a peaceful welcome & first meeting and be there to help her go through her grief. I worry about her being scared, nervous and sad that day. So, worry worry worry - and try to let go of that worry, because I know its not DOING anything but keeping me awake when I desperately need sleep!
The follow up report came - it was a few questions that didn't get answered right away. It came in rough translation, with the mandarin still attached. I took one look at the first line and unplugged the laptop to run it inside the kitchen to show Dave. Poor guy was trying to work on schoolwork, but I needed to interrupt him to give him the first line: JuneBug "wants to be adopted!" Sometime in between the reports, her nanny started to talk to her about what adoption means - AND she got one, or both of our care packages. She was said to be interested in the "foreign-land" and "excited" - She's EXCITED! It also listed "nervous" and "timid", but I couldn't imagine her to not be. She went right away to play with the children as if she was saying goodbye, and showed interest in learning English. This is more than we could have asked for. Really, I know that we will have a long way to go with JuneBug. Emotionally, educationally, socially, language - she is sure to need a bunch of family time and lots of work on areas where she is behind, but this little bit of information shows me that she is "grasping" the change that is in front of her - this has also been a prayer of mine lately....so yes, prayers do get answered - in a big way when it comes to our family and adoption. My prayer now is for Dave and I, as parents, to have the tools we need to help JuneBug cope with all of these changes....and that God brings us to China soon!
That's all for now - except tomorrow some of our paperwork gets transferred internally in China and puts us on Travel Approval watch....and tomorrow is also our 2 year anniversary of meeting our sweet SongBird! So happy!
