Seriously.....it's been a long time since I blogged. It's been a while since I wrote in general. My "go-to" journaling was always a pen and paper journal brought out when I went on retreat, when significant events happened, or when I was traveling. I brought my journal to China the first time and kept a log of our daily happenings. That was also the first time I blogged about our trip. When we returned the next two times, I kept the travel blog a daily part of our trip....my journal not so much. I am glad I kept a daily accounting of the ups and downs of each day. It's been lovely to revisit those early days as our family grew.
It's been two years since I blogged - we were on a "every two years" adoption trip schedule. We have officially disrupted things, as we are not currently in the process of adopting. This is not to say we wouldn't want to adopt again, but our current small apartment would probably burst for sure if we added one more kiddo to the mix. Yes, I've crossed into another decade in age, but I will never rule out another treasure from God.....we'll see what the future brings :-).
But, I digress. I recently picked up my old pen and paper journal when we took our THREE girls on a camping vacation. Our other vacations were jam packed with lots of running around, and I never even packed my journal. This is not to say that we weren't planning an active camping trip, but there is something about camping that lends itself to journalling. At the end of each day, as the sun set, or after it already set, I would sit in a camp chair near the fire.
Around me were girlies roasting marshmallows, my husband keeping the fire going, and my sweet Ballerina mirroring my posture with her own journal and pen. That was a wonder to me. Sometimes over dinner I would read the girls bits from my journal. They reveled in hearing of their own antics and silly words that I documented, and even asked me to include certain things they were sure I'd missed. Ballerina once commented that I took longer to write than she did, and she wrote different things. I didn't pry, but one day she offered to read me some of her own observations. Instead of a short list of what we did that day, she wrote beautifully about the parts of the day which made impressions on her mind, that truly I didn't dwell on. She included in her description of our campsite (um....cabin...not quite tent ready!), a note about the lone daisy that grew under the steps of the porch and poked its sunny head out to the side to soak up the sun. She talked about the various treasures she admired in the antique store. I tell you the girl has a poet's eyes for sure!
All this to say, it's been a long time away!
I tentatively dip my toe back into the blogosphere. I intend to keep this up better than I have! Where have I been spending my online time in the previous two years? - Facebook and Pinterest. I have been using Pinterest (http://pinterest.com/heatherkcs/) lot lately to create new recipes and source new decorating ideas, not to mention a bunch of craft and gift ideas. I have half a thought to write about some of my forays in to Pinterest-world projects. We'll see. I have brief infatuations with finding the perfect recipe for a particular jam, or maybe a great dessert that includes nutella. When that happens I tend to talk about it, to the grown-ups in my world, way too much. I'm sure that blogging it (again, to an audience of Dave alone, I think) should save them my incessant gushing on the topic!
So enough about that. To borrow a line from The Princess Bride "Let me explain - no too much - let me sum up" the last two years.
I am now Mama to a 14 year old - JuneBug. Home from China two years. She is sweet, quiet, shy, jokey, smiley, and attached to me with a fierceness I could never have imagined. She struggles to understand our words some days, and others anticipates our unspoken question. She is not a "typical" teen on most days, and on others shows me that I assume too much, and she can be a emotional teen that has a stubborn streak. She has many services at school - though I'm gearing up to fight for more. She is slowly learning better communication, and after many long frustrating interactions with our newest girlie - we are committed to learning better to communicate better too! There is still a swirl of mystery around JuneBug - medically, historically, emotionally. We find there are some times that we peel away part of that mystery, but some we know will always remain. As Dave says about her in general - JuneBug "is happy to be here!". Every little new step for JuneBug is a major event around here. Her milestones, and breakthroughs are slow in coming and we treasure them. A dialogue with JuneBug is usually brief and she relays on gestures a lot, but she is speaking more and for a girlie who has a lot stacked against her, that she is making strides and understanding a lot of what I say to her - in ENGLISH- she is cheerful and happy to be a part of a family....our family, with meimeis (little sisters) to boot!
I have a new "middle child" girlie that I still have trouble identifying that way. Ballerina is home 6.5 years. She is 7 ("and three quarters") and I usually refer to her as my "first daughter". It is a more accurate description of my girlie who still assumes most of the big sister role among her sisters. Ballerina is smart, curious, a rules girl who loves school, loves to read, and thrives on a busy schedule....though at the same time is sensitive to disappointment....of her own making! With her perfectionist tendencies, if she doesn't achieve the high standard she holds herself to, she can crumble. My Mama job with this girlie has grown to include guiding her to set some smaller goals before getting to the bigger goals - she would rather skip right to the end result. She is learning this, she is able to reflect on achievements she has made and the work she had to put in to get there. Of course she wants to set lots more goals- she dreams big. My girl who is so patient with teaching her sister a new word, or dance move wants to be a teacher ("at 16, like Anne Shirley") a doctor ("who doesn't just sit in an office looking at reports, but helping people") an astronaut, even though "Jack says nobody goes into space anymore", a Mom, a horse-owner (who plans to ride her horse, and bicycle everywhere - she will "not own a car" but will be an excellent driver since she is "practicing now"), she will live in a solar paneled, energy efficient house, and when she takes vacation some summer, she plans to walk the Appalachian Trail. Our Ballerina is a graceful dancer who recently attended a camp where she participated in acting exercises, and learned some Broadway Show tunes - she loved it, and I can see more in her coming years!
Songbird is my baby, at 6 years old, has been home 4 years. She recently had a birthday and I felt that her babyhood was left behind when she crossed from five to six. She is vibrant, expressive, dramatic, FUNNY, loving, affectionate, musical, sympathetic, sweet, clever, princess loving, an expert at pretend play......and stubborn, and prone to messy! This little girlie is a joy and a challenge. She has a big personality and makes her presence know when she enters a room - she makes grand entrances often! She is super confident and eager to show her affection for someone she knows. She will also offer spontaneous compliments that show that she is attuned to her internal fashion sense. With albinism, our Songbird has a visual impairment. You wouldn't know it by her interest in clothing and eye for fabric. Many a fluffy princess dress, dance costume, wedding attire will gain exclamations and approval from Songbird, but she still has positive comments to spare about the long skirt another mom wears, or a pretty necklace on her teacher! If she gets her hands on a microphone she will use it to sing or monologue. She gives us endless hours of laughter at her performance antics....which we sometimes have to suppress when she is displaying naughty behavior in a particularly funny way. She has proven that her visual challenges will not define her. Though she may need services to help her in school, she is meeting every challenge that comes her way - she learned the basics of reading faster than I expected, and I delight in hearing her read a story out loud. She dances, she sings, she creates stories that she acts in and directs (I cannot come up with my own script when playing pretend.....she has it all mapped out!). A diplomat, actress, singer, dancer, counselor, fashion designer- we can see it all in her...and she would add dentist to the list - but that baffles me. I think she really likes her dentist! Songbird is the last one asleep and the first one awake - I want to figure out her secret, as this is NOT me!
Those are my girls. I am still home with them, and active in their school, PTA and with scouts. I am the driver for all after school Dance classes, Chinese lessons, Speech therapy, and scout meetings. I like those days when there is NO schedule that requires us to pile into the car and travel to another town for something extracurricular. On those days we can head to the library, or create a craft, or eat a meal that we were home to prepare at a slower pace, instead of rushing to fit it in after activity & homework & before bedtime.
I have been trying some new recipes which has been extremely satisfying as they are more old fashioned, not quick shortcut type recipes. Canning jam last year for the first time, I had new offerings for teacher gifts. I'm not using those "emergency" cake mixes as much, and I've found that cooking at our campsite, was really fun. Baking cornbread in a Dutch oven over/under coals was in itself a new adventure. I have some eager helpers in the kitchen lately. JuneBug is a good chopper, Ballerina has been choosing and executing new recipes (and WANTS to wash dishes every night!) and Songbird delights in the "chef attire" and wants to wear a matching apron and stir whatever ingredients I'm using.
Dave and I have both crossed into our fourth decades since I last wrote on this blog. He has finally finished that Masters and is working back at a company he always liked, and is happily teaching and expanding his experience through new opportunities. We've been blessed with 16 1/2 years of marriage, and definitely feel, abundantly blessed, with our three sweet girlies. They are gifts, jewels God entrusted to us, and we are grateful for the priveledge!
We have had some tough times adjusting to the new normal with our JuneBug, and have faced the death of Dave's mom just two months ago. The past two years have not always been sunny, but we have learned a lot about ourselves, each other, and what it takes to tackle the challenges of parenting. We, I think, are thriving on those challenges!
Is that enough of a sum-up?.....Dave?.....I know you are the only one reading this!
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